Surrounding By Love: Clare's Story

Hello! My name is Clare DeVigal and I am a current junior from American Canyon Highschool. Growing up in a large family, especially with five siblings, is a beautiful blessing and a curse all in one. It's a constant negotiation of space, resources, and attention. For me, the fourth child and youngest daughter, I learned how to  ground myself and to learn to love myself. The constant comparison to my siblings started to affect my self-esteem. It's one thing to compare yourself to people all around you, people you barely know, but comparing yourself to loved ones you've known your whole life feels completely different. I began to be conscious that I was always too loud, not athletic enough, or simply not as good as someone else in some area. It felt like I was in competition, desperately seeking approval and validation from those I loved the most. 

However, I began to find my own unique place. I realized that trying to be a copy of my siblings I looked up to so much was ultimately pointless. Instead, I started to explore my own interests and talents. I threw myself into hobbies like sewing, reading,and music, activities that allowed me to express myself without the pressure of comparison. As I honed my skills and received positive feedback, my confidence grew. I learned that my worth wasn't tied to being the best at something, but rather to the joy and fulfillment I found in pursuing my passions.

Ultimately, my family taught me the valuable lesson that love isn't a finite resource. Despite the occasional jealousy, there was always an underlying sense of support and acceptance. I learned that I didn't have to earn their love; it was freely given. My siblings are my best friends and would only want the best for me.  This realization gradually extended to myself. I began to treat myself with the same compassion and understanding that my siblings offered me. I embraced my imperfections, celebrated my strengths, and learned to love myself, not in spite of my chaotic upbringing, but because of it.